Old man Yoshi's birthday party.

Yoshi, I don't know what your first two years were like, before we adopted you off of Craigslist,

but I'd like to think they weren't nearly as great as the last three years full of

me spontaneously squeezing you, taking you on road trips 

or making you wear ridiculous festive holidays outfits. So,

Happy Birthday, you 35-year-old man, you.
(in dog years, of course)
We love you very much, Yoshers. But let's face it...

I think it's about time you find a job.

And maybe move out of the house. 

After all, it's kind of weird that you're 35 and you still sleep in our bed.