That one time I sleep-walked.

What I wore: Leggings & Scarf, AE. Jacket, Abercrombie. Sandals, Payless. 

Alright, so I'm copping out today.

We have visitors flying in this evening so I spent all day yesterday cleaning up the 

train wreck that I allowed our apartment to become. And you don't want to hear about that

because it'll just be all whiny.

So, here's what you get instead: 

My funniest embarrassing moment. 

This little story was included in the speech that got me my oh-so-prestigious high school

Homecoming Queen title, so it's practically guaranteed to brighten your day a bit. 

Let me set the scene. 

When I was in first grade, my family moved into a new house. It had two stories, 

and all of the bedrooms were on the second floor. My mom was worried about my brother and I

sleepwalking and tumbling down the staircase, so for the first few weeks she put up a safety gate across the doorway to the stairs and all was swell.

My brother has a tendency to do strange things in his sleep.

I don't sleep walk. Ever.

But the very first night after she took the gate down,

 I had my first (and only) sleepwalking adventure.

I don't remember walking down the stairs, but apparently I did.

And I made my way into the mudroom, 

where we kept all of our shoes and coats and scarves and whatnot. 

Annnnd apparently I thought the mudroom was the bathroom. And I needed to go.

Yes, I sleep-peed on the floor. 

And then, though I was still half-asleep, 

I sort of realized I'd done something wrong. The obvious solution? 

Try to clean up my mess with coats.

Yeah, that didn't work so well.

I abandoned that plan and instead decided I just needed to rid myself of the evidence.

So, I took off my underwear and put them on the kitchen table.

Why? I have no plausible explanation. 

And then I went back upstairs, put on a fresh pair of undies 

and went back to sleep like nothing had happened.

And the aftermath?

My mom walked into the mudroom in the morning and thought perhaps our dog

had an accident...until she saw the kitchen table.