Some days I look at our countdown and I'm stricken with crazy panic because the nursery's still a hot mess, there's still painters tape clinging to our almost-finished stairs and mildewy caulk in the guest bathroom and I haven't yet read all of the baby books in the history of existence.
And some days it feels like every hour and every week is absolutely dragging on. Like time is standing still and I'm just banging my fists against the calendar page, willing it to fall away. Like, how-on-Earth-am-I-ever-going-to-distract-myself-for-"X"-more-months-before-I-get-to-hold-our-baby?! (The logical answer would be to distract myself with nursery crafting and caulk replacing, but let's be real here...logic is virtually meaningless to a pregnant woman.)
Today, I'm stuck wallowing in the latter.
For the first half of pregnancy, there's so much happening and so many milestones. Every day brings wild new changes for your baby (a beating heart, developing arms and legs and the beginning of each of the five senses). Every week brings visible changes in your body as you start to see that little bump grow and grow. The first half of our pregnancy wasn't necessarily a cakewalk, but it seemed like all of the sudden we'd reached 20 weeks in no time flat!
But the past 9 weeks have been SLOW. Slow like molasses. I've got the belly, we've bought the baby supplies and my daily pregnancy apps are on a repetitive loop of "your baby is packing on fat". I love being pregnant - I adore my bump and I love to have our baby so close, to feel him stretching and rolling inside my belly. I love this special bond we're building and I'm cherishing what an absolute blessing it is that I get to carry this little miracle inside me. But some days I just get so impatient to see that little face I've been dreaming of and to feel those soft, tiny fingers against my own - and it's a long, endless, unbearable-sounding TEN weeks away still.
Ohhh, sweet little boy - you will get here when you're meant to get here and not one moment sooner. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.