Monday, September 17, 2012

Why I would be a terrible bank robbing accomplice.

Apparently, I'm incapable of keeping secrets. 
Thursday morning I was sitting at my desk, all ready to dive into
my writing and my fresh cup of coffee, when my phone rang.
The screen said it was Amer, one of our friends from Missouri.
Odd, I thought, but I decided to pick it up 
(okay, okay, I'll admit that I screen my calls, and if I fear
you're going to ask me an awkward favor and I won't be
able to come up with a good excuse on the spot or that you're going to launch into
some bizarre conversation I'm not prepared to have or that you might be
a telemarketer trying to convince me I just won a luxury cruise vacation,
I will definitely may let you go to voicemail. We all do it, right?). 
And it was a phone call worth answering because he told me 
he and Stephanie were in Los Angeles! It was a bit of a spur of the moment
decision and they wanted to surprise us. He asked what our plans were
for the evening...and then the call dropped.
And I tried to call him right back, but I had no luck getting through.
This is the part where I blew it.
In the 2.5 seconds I was disconnected from Amer's call,
my brain exploded with excitement and, unable to contain myself, 
I may have texted Ryan and I may have said,
"Amer and Stephanie are in town!!!!"
So, Amer calls me right back and immediately says,
"So, we were thinking we could surprise Ryan by showing up at the grocery 
store or something while you guys are shopping tonight."
My brain goes, "Oh, $@%*,"and my mouth goes, 
"I'm not sure that's an option for two reasons.
First, Ryan wasn't planning on being home until late tonight,
and second, I may have just texted him and told him you were here."
I'm pretty sure I heard Amer's heart break through the phone.
In my defense, I thought the phone call was the surprise.
I had no idea there were further surprises.
Also in my defense, it was 8:45 AM and I had finished zero cups of coffee 
when I received this phone call. 
I scrambled to do some damage control by texting Ryan 
random complaints in an attempt to distract him from the damning text message.
He didn't ask about it, but he did immediately check Facebook for news of their travels
(because it ain't offish until it's Facebook offish) and when he found nothing, he must have just assumed I had some form of text message Tourette's that caused me to exclaim
false statements about the whereabouts of our friends.
Ryan and I arranged to meet for lunch and, SURPRISE, Amer and Steph were there...
but it was a lot more lackluster than it could have been, that's for sure. 
My bad, guys. I'm ashamed of myself.
The moral of this story?
Don't involve me in a plan to rob a bank.
I'll probably call the cops on us and tell them all about it.

In other news, this weekend I enjoyed both a
delicious vegan Oreo peanut butter milkshake from Millions of Milkshakes
and, after Nicole, my new favorite person in the world,
informed me it IS vegan (as long as you get it with soy milk
and sans caramel drizzle), my beloved Starbucks salted caramel mocha.
Life is good, people. Life is good.  


  1. Yay for surprise visits though! That's fun :)

    & yay for oreo peanut butter milkshakes...yummo!

  2. What perfect timing since you were missing home!!!!


  3. I love the way you described this whole thing...literally at my desk in stitches. I'm a new follower and I just love your voice.

  4. I would totally blow it, too. I'm glad that you were able to surprise the husband anyway.

  5. I hate keeping secrets!

    I always feel like I'm just going to randomly blurt them out for no good reason.

    Sometimes, I tell strangers or people totally unrelated to the situation, just to get some relief:)


  6. I do have that effect on people ;P



  7. haha, when you talked about the caramel mocha not being vegan, I was kind of like, wait, why wouldn't she just get it with soy milk? But I guess I was dumb and didn't say anything cause I figured you knew that and maybe it wasn't vegan for another reason.

    and I totally do the same thing with calls. I screen the heck out of them. I hate awkward phone conversations. I hate phone conversations in general, actually.

  8. HAHA well you were just way to excited that he was there and I am sure AMER understood and was flattered!!

  9. I am the saaaame way! If something is just too good and exciting, why hold it in?!

  10. I would be the exact same way. I am horrible at keeping ANYTHING from my hubby. He's the first one I have to tell everything to, so I'm right there with ya.

  11. i'm KIND of the same way. I can usually keep other people's surprises. i just have the tendency to blow the surprises that i have planned for others. like how my sister and i ALWAYS know what we've bought the other for christmas... cause we're too excited not to share. :]

  12. Ahah you're definitely a funny girl! You're totally forgiven, you were so excited :) I hope you guys had an amazing time :)


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