Sunday, July 8, 2012

Do NOT read while eating.

This picture? It has nothing to do with the story I'm about to tell you.
We did hit up the tennis courts today, but the "highlight" of our weekend definitely
could not be photographed. I shudder (and gag) just thinking about it. 
I think perhaps it will haunt my dreams (and nasal cavities) forever.
I'm warning you, do not read on if you can not handle bodily functions
(of the dog variety...I'll be keeping my own bodily functions to myself, as usual). 
Let me begin at the beginning.
Saturday night we were watching TV and silly Dobby 
kept doing the "racecar driver" on the carpet
(you know...dragging her hiney across the floor).
We scolded her appropriately.
Later, we started to smell a strong, metallic scent.
We sniffed outside and in the bedroom.
Nope, definitely the living room. 
We sniffed Dobby.
Yes, definitely Dobby.
We thought perhaps it was her lady parts, so we googled it
(because where else do I find the answers to every question I could ever have?).
Were you aware that dogs have glands on their bum that aid them in dropping number twos?
I was not.
Were you aware that the aforementioned glands can become "backed up",
causing a metallic odor?
I was not.
Were you aware that the solution for such a problem is to manually 
"express the anal glands" (technical terminology here)?
So this morning I watched an instructional Youtube video,
(Seriously, how did anyone know how to do anything without the aid of the internet?).
Oh dear God, I was horrified
I slapped on a pair of rubber gloves and tried not to think about what I was about to do.
We put Dobby in the bathtub
and Ryan held her still while I squeezed her butt.
I will not go into great detail, but I will say
the smell in that bathroom was the stuff of nightmares.
I hope that fur baby appreciates how much we love her. 

Anyway...I'm sorry for ruining your day.
Now, excuse me while I go vomit. 


  1. We have the same problem with our dog! Every couple of months she starts dragging her butt across the ground and while it is hilarious {and gross} we realize what's wrong. No one really wants to do it because of the obvious yuckiness so we just take her to the vet :D I'm sure she knows how much you love her! :D

  2. I have actually heard of this, but you are so much braver than I am for taking it into your own hands (pun not actually intended...but hilarious)!

  3. Ohh noooo. I couldn't do it! Our groomer does it for free every time we take Maggie!

  4. I cannot imagine. I think I'm going to bookmark this post so I can come back to it whenever I have the urge to cheat on my diet...

  5. So personally I found this hillarious!
    I have heard of this before and actually I had to do it to my family do Jackson {a scottish terrier} because no one in the family was brave enough to do it.
    I just thought you would like to know i laughed out loud literally the whole time i read!

  6. Oh, man! Our old bulldog used to have that problem so I would take him into the vet and have them do it. I would never have had the stomach to do that myself. You are a total rockstar! (But I totally can smell that right now, that's a smell you will never, ever forget.)

  7. Ohhhhhhhh. I don't do that. I have the groomers do it for sharks when he gets groomed. Thank god for long haired requires him to get groomed as often as the "expressing".

    Also, I'm sending you a virtual ice cream.

  8. Oh man, is it bad that I know exactly what smell you're talking about?? SUCH a horrible smell. Snoopy has gone through the same thing, though we usually let his vet handle the butt squeezing. Kudos to you for going through that!

  9. My girls do the drag their butt across the floor from time to time but I have never smelled a metallic smell from them. Good to know thought!

  10. Uh uh, no way for me. We'd be finding an after-hours vet's office. Blegh!

  11. Hahah, oh we have the same problem with our dog! You should have seen the first time we attempted this as well. It didn't go well and B, the dog, and I all went our separate ways after. I'm not sure who was more humiliated! The smell is truly awful.

  12. Omg...I know that smell all too well! Ughhh but our doxie it's more if someone strange tries to pet him he gets so scared he does it himself! Never had to manually do it thank god!

  13. UGH. I have two little beasts that need this done on the reg. The Huz always gets to hold them well I do the "dirty work". I'd describe the smell as fish gone horribly wrong.

  14. oh yea - the "glands"... we take Doug to the pros to get his taken care of, and when we get a little behind on cleaning them out, we start to smell his "fish butt"
    you are a brave, brave soul to take that job on yourself!

  15. It's terrible right? When my dog was a puppy, he used to have issues with the poop not coming out. Almost like he was constipated...he just lacked the muscle to get it morning at 3 a.m, I am in the back yard with my fingers up my dogs butt trying to help pull his poop out. It. was. not. fun. Ugh...the things we do for our furry loves.

  16. I have never ever heard of this, but our shih-tzu has been sick all weekend, and is just now starting to feel better. So, we've been cleaning up vomit and poop for the last two days. We understand. Hope Dobby starts to feel better soon, too!

  17. My dog's anal glands won't express on their own so we have to do it for him often. I totally freaked my dog-less coworker out on day by causally saying something (??) about his anal glands, and she stopped me horrified - "YOU DID WHAT TO HIS ANAL WHAT??" haha. Oh dogs.


This is the part where you tell the pups how cute they are.
...but seriously, thank you so much for stopping by and for your wonderful comment! I read them all and try to respond as often as I can. We hope you visit again soon :)